Here Comes the Sun

Summer has come to an end, rain will come. I never like to say goodbye to the sun, it denies my bad temper to take over my person, the sunshine is always a little stronger. 

But here is that rain, the one that will wash away the layer of smiles protecting my soul. And as I wake up in the rain, the will to live will fade. Maybe the rain is just an excuse to let out the real me, the me that is in love with feeling bad. The one that looks for external reasons of why this life is so hard, the one that does not blame my own being for not enjoying. It's all the fault of the rain. It is like every rain drop is filled with the things I want to do in life, and every drop falls on the floor and explodes. Every falling raindrop is a dream ruined, until the sun comes back and tells me there is no need for dreams nor hopes, there is only sunshine and love.

The rain is making me crazy, it is telling me what I want: I want to dance, act, write, travel, work, study, meet new people, live a solitary life, live in a foreign country, get used to a little basic life in my own country, it tells me I want to speak Spanish, German, Russian, Italian, French and even Tsjech. I want a girl for myself,  I want to have a lot of different women, I want to fall in love, I want to hate,  I want to change the world, help people, I want to be selfish, get a lot of money, buy a house, a nice car. I want to forget about past lovers, I want to hold on to every love I had. I want to forget about everything, at the same time I do not want to forget about anything.

The rain laughs in my face by falling all day long and throughout that day, by making my hopes and dreams explode on the ground, or even in my own hands. There are so many things I want, so many,  that because of that I do not have anything.

I keep running behind every rain drop, but never can I catch one. And after being tired of running,  I sit and wait for the wind to remove the rain and tell me: here comes the sun.