Sleep the pain away

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep...

ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!

Fight yourself, get up, lay down, get up.
Walk out the door, go to work, smile. Work, work, work, work.
Cry? No, smile. Work, work, work.

Go home, eat, cry? No, smile. Have fun? Cry? No, have fun.
Exercise, talk, smile, cry? No, laugh louder.

May I go to bed now, I'm exhausted.

Sure: sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep...

Four seasons

Autumn

My head is resting on my left hand. It can't hold itself up anymore. My eyelids keep closing.
My brain demands rest. It wants to shut down every part of my body.
My heart pumps slowly, trying to tell me to run away. I don't hear it, my mind controls my heart.
I force my head up, it falls onto my right hand. My eyes close, my heart hardly beats.
Inside my head I feel a strong wind coming up that puts out the fires in my brain.
Logic has been saved, hopes and dreams burned down.
A peaceful breeze remains, it refreshes my warm head.
Everything turns black.

Winter

I wake up, more tired than before I slept. The fire yields in my brain.
My heart is beating fast but I can't feel my pulse.
My eyes are open. I see my reflection, what's my age again? Did I ever have a dream?
What am I doing? Am I happy? Am I unhappy? Am I satisfied or not?
Why does my neck hurt so bad? The muscles surrounding my shoulders try to break all the bones, they pull together. My bones crack but don't break.
I need something to set me free. Money? Women? Work? Exercise? Friends? Family? Wisdom?
Tell me, my head is exploding!

Spring

I step into the sun, my muscles relax.
They let go of my bones, my bones position themselves in line with the universe.
My muscles gently guide them into the perfect direction, my neck feels free.
My heart beats to a musical rhtym and sends blood through my veins.
My veins get thick, the blood races, I feel the pressure floating away from my head.
My muscles are filled with strength, my head feels light.
My eyes open wide, they invite the sunnlight in. Hush, enjoy the breeze.
The flowers and birds welcome me, the bees won't sting. Is this to be free?

Summer

My head is free, my skin sizzles. Drops of sweat join me wherever I go.
There is no tension, I feel as flexible as a little child. I jump into the water.
I run across the beach, I'm fast and strong as a leopard.
I welcome the small clouds, the breeze joining me this afternoon.
My heart overrules my brain, I enjoy my day. I smile, my lips are overrun with love.
I see the most beautiful human beings, I ignore the many ugly ones.
I take your hand and make you smile. I give happiness to all around.
No more autumn nor winter for me, the sun is what sets me free.

The road

Which road are you travelling?

Have you ever taken the time to think about it? 

Or have you always been too scared?

Perhaps you are just too dumb?

Are you content with your road? 

Do you want to continue this way?

Have you wanted to try another route?

Perhaps you are just too lazy?

Does it matter which road you are on?

Perhaps you just need some company?

Will any road set you free?

Perhaps you are just too weak?

Do you want your trip to end here?

Perhaps you just want to stay still?

Maybe go back for a while?

Perhaps you are just too afraid?

Do you want a nicer car for your road?

Full option to give you security?

With wheels of fortune?

Perhaps you are just too spoiled?

Do you want the sun to heat you on the road?

Don't you think the rain has some use?

Won't you need new sunglasses?

Maybe you are just too sad?

My advice: don't settle down just yet.

Do that tomorrow.

Start walking again today, perhaps run for a moment.

Maybe you find the road that will set you free.

Tree of Fruits

A society of men and women were living on the side of a brook. On the other side of this brook a tree was situated. It was a tree of which wise men said it was full of fruits ready to be enjoyed by men and women at their old age. With only one condition: when one would cross the border in search for other fruits that same person had lost all his rights to get fruits from the communal tree. And since from their side of the brook it was impossible to see if there were any other trees or fruits, no one took any risk. They all stayed on the side they knew. "Better safe than sorry" was their slogan.

When a young boy in the group saw the tree he asked the others if they already figured out a way to get to the tree. People looked upon him with frowned eyebrows, telling him that there was no need to get to the other side or to the tree.
"But don't you want to taste the fruist from the tree? Don't you want to enjoy them?"
"Oh, such a young man you are, you don't understand anything yet, do you? Right now the tree has not enough fruits yet, but if we let it grow then the fruits will be plenty for all and fall on our side without us having to take any risk."
"But don't you want to enjoy the fruits now, what is the use of your lives if you can't enjoy fruits?"
"Oh, but we get some fruit every now and then boy. And every piece of fruit we get, we enjoy as much as we can. But off course we look forward to our old age when the tree will give us plenty of fruits, so we can eat them all."

When the boy asked them if there were more trees on the other side, the elders answered him that they did not know. If there were, they were out of sight. And they told him about the risk of losing the right to the fruits trees by crossing the brook.

"I see. But just imagine if the tree would die, or it would not produce any more fruits?"
"Impossible! This tree is as old as we know, it won't die ever. So just join the group, help the brook to keep the land close to it fertil and enjoy the fruits when you are old."

The young man refused to stay in the group, he explained that he wanted to enjoy the fruits while he was still young, so he ran-up towards the brook and jumped to the other side. In front of the eyes of the others he grabbed an apple from the tree and jumped jolly further down his road.

"Such a fool, now he will never get any of the fruits later. Life will be hard for him, imagine if there are no more trees. That would be his last and only fruit... At lease we are sure that when we're old we'll enjoy our fruit-tree."

At an older age the once so young man returned to the brook he left at a young age -enjoying one of the many exotic fruits he found on his way-. But when he arrived at the brook he saw the tree had died and across the brook all that was left were hungry, defeated people, staring at the tree and waiting for a miracle to save them. A miracle that was never going to happen.

The wind

A young man was walking along with the wind. The wind offered him a pleasant walk. The obstacles were swept away and the wind kept pushing him foward, gently supporting his back. The young man saw a cliff ahead, he figured the wind would help him overcome any trouble. The wind kept pushing him, the young man didn't ask any questions, didn't try to fight the wind and fell down into the bottomless pit.

An old man was fighting the wind. Ever since he was young he refused the wind to guide him. All he wanted was to go against the wind, beat the wind and find freedom on the other side. The wind never stopped blowing, the man never stopped fighting. Years passed, and on his 70th birthday he was still fighting the wind. Lack of force made the wind sweep him away. Carried by his enemy the old man got pushed off the cliff.

A small girl was being pushed by the wind. She reasoned with the wind and asked it to lay low at times so she could have a look at a windless world. She would never fight it, since she acknowledged she could never win. The wind was happy to push the girl along rough pads and appreciated the rest she offered him without disrespecting his force. The wind told the girl to run into him once in a while, so he would blow away old age from her face. And as such forever and ever this girl will keep the power and beauty of her youth.

The Joker: Prologue

He, the Joker, had figured it all out. He once held all the cards in his hands and with one look he saw the society of Spades, Hearts, Clubs and Diamonds. All structured in the same manner. Every society existed out of thirteen members. The lower and middle part of society were build up by numbers two until eight. A higher class consisted out of nines and tens. Above these you had the jacks and queens, who were in fact company to the highest of all cards: the King. In every society, the King was the card that people looked up to. He divided and ruled all. The Ace was the only card that could overrule the King in decisions, mostly this happened when the Ace saw a decision or action from the King that could create problems among the nines and tens. And occasionaly he would care for problems amongst lower cards. As such the Ace was the force that had the final say when things got tense.

The Aces and Kings were the leaders in the eyes of the others, but the Joker knew better. Let the two’s, three’s, four’s and so on live in the illusion that the King and Ace are the world’s leaders, that they know everything and can solve it all, who cares for the cards under nine in the stack anyways? Once in a while there was a ten that said something interesting and to the point, he admitted, and very rarely a nine would come up with a brilliant idea as well. But the eights and lower, they were just created to keep the Kings and Aces in power. They were only called upon when the higher classes lacked an amount of cards. No one really cared, no one ever wanted a five or lower around, an eight or perhaps seven were acceptable in case of necessity.

As a Joker, he did not belong to any of the four societies. He was the only card that was able to live in diverse classes, in diverse societies. He could run amongst Hearts, Spades, Clubs or even Diamonds. He could talk to fours, fives, eights, tens and even Kings. And they all liked him as long as he did not stay around for too long. The only card that did not care for the Joker was the Ace. Their relationship was ever tense. The Ace seemed to know more about the Joker than any other card in the game. This made the Joker very uncomfortable around the four Aces. So whenever he visited the Hearts, Spades, Clubs or Diamonds, he tried to stay away from the Ace, the only card he felt a certain hate for. The other cards he did just despise, look down upon, feel sorry for, some he even regarded as plain useless to have in the stack, but hate he did reserve just for the Ace.

Although he was the only card that could mingle with any other card, the Joker was the loneliest card of all. Every card knew that somewhere in the game, in another society, there was someone just like him or her. And they were all part of a certain class within their society, so although lonely at times, none of the cards was ever totally alone. The Joker would start to feel anxious when too long around one type of card , and that moment his inner self told him to move on to another card. Strangely enough he felt most comfortable around the Kings and Queens. The Queens felt beautiful around the Joker, and they appreciated his company. Often the Joker had thought he would rather be a Jack, so he could be around a Queen all the time. The Kings appreciated his company, his view on society and his stories about the other cards, but they found him too tiring after a while, and at those moments where he was no longer welcome, he mingled amongst nines, tens and jacks.

There he had his share of fun, but their lives were so empty to him, it saddened him. Amongst them he felt their emptiness growing in himself, how sad must it be not to be able to escape that emptiness? Not even to mention the emptiness of sevens or lower, cards which he mingled with to keep in touch with all of society, not to become estranged from the world as was the case for the Kings or other high cards in society. But fond of the low cards, no that he was not. At least the low cards did not know how low they really were, some even thought they were in fact high cards, if they would realize how low and useless they were the world would change for the worse, so the Joker left them in their illusion.

Although he had been born a Joker, he once became close to accepting the position of the Jack. Every few years a card would leave the stack, and the Joker was the only one fit to replace a card. It would’ve brought him very close to the Queen of Spades, of whom he was very fond. The problem with a Joker is that deep inside he knows he does not really want to be pinned down into the society of cards he despises so much. And so it happened that a Jack from another stack entered the Spade society. The Queen of Spades was very hurt by the Jokers refusal of the position and handed him a blank card, telling him “I hope you can fill in this card with something your heart craves, because I will never be yours.”

Every night since receiving that card, the Joker looks at it and wonders what it is that his heart desires. All he has to do is draw it on the card and he will have it. But the years go by for the Joker and the card remains blank.

Threat, Gold, Chains

I want to go, leave it all behind
They say: 'Stay, out there you'll go blind'
So I remain, light in the distance
I need to give in, fight my resistance

And sometimes I look closely and begin to move
They rush in, they work hard to close the groove
After this, they take me back and give me gold
I accept the wealth, but feel oh so cold

Someday I will sneak out, no one will see
I will jump in the light, I will be free
And if out there I'll turn blind
I'll accept it, I won't mind

About to leave, to take the sunshine trains
They all rush in and lock me in chains
Imprisoned for life, I'm forced to stay
No more hope to find a better way